In human sexuality, kinkiness or kinky (adjective), is a term used to refer to a playful usage of sexual concepts which are overt, accentuated, unambiguously expressive of sexuality. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" (cf. a "kink") in one's sexual behavior, to contrast such behavior with "straight" or "narrow" sexual mores and proclivities.
Whoever enjoys any kind of erotic power play and/or pain is kinky because Power pervades all sex and sex involves tactile sensations of a wide range, sensual caress, love bites,rough sex etc.
Moving along this continuum, BDSM involves power and pain in more intense and concentrated ways.
Individuals at different points might be more drawn to domination/submission or to pain.
For some, erotic play with power and or pain is fun and spices up their sex life, for others, BDSM is a lifestyle and sexual orientation, central to one's desires and sense of self.
Feelings of guilt, fear and alienation
Silence, social stigma, pressure to get married, lack of access to community support, fear of blackmail, having to lead a double life, lack of access to Kink Aware Professionals - doctors, lawyers, MHPs etc.
Pain as pleasure.....shackles that set us free...control that is sublime journey into the unknown.
|BDSM is violent and abusive||Consent is at the heart of BDSM. It is not presumed but actively negotiated and can be withdrawn at any time, instantly and unconditionally.|
|It is damaging and causes trauma||Can be empowering and healing and Enable well-being and centeredness...being in the present moment|
|It is illegal||There is no law in India prohibiting practice of kink. It is not illegal as long as it is between consenting adults.|
|It's all about pain||It's not. Pain might or might not be a part of the play. It all depends on how you like it.|
|It is not safe||It is completely safe as long as you know what you are doing and practice basic norms of safety|
|It is patriarchal and anti-women||On the contrary; the female dominant is in control, female submissives have power to consent or not, male submissives challenge machismo and the community has space for gender diversity|
|The man always dominates, the woman submits||Dominants and submissives can be of any gender. A transgender person can dominate another transgender person, a man can submit to a woman, a woman can be the dominant of another woman|
|It’s all about sex||BDSM might or might not involve penetrative sex at all, what matters more is erotic play with pain and power.|