We initially carry our “dominant ego” a little everywhere, including in places where it has no place being. One of those is reality.
To dominate someone, there is a price to pay: we need to submit. To reality.
Because reality is there whether you like it or not. You don’t dominate it. You accept it or get hurt. Badly. And ridiculed and humiliated. And you lose all the dominance you tried to build over time. Because there’s no worse way to end up shitfaced that being proven wrong when you refused to see something that glared in your face (yep, that sounds like experience).
Which is why we should always encourage our partners to be truthful and always accept the truth when we recognise it (not always easy, I admit).
If a sub says something that’s true, then it simply is, whether it is pleasant or not to hear. It can neither hurt nor pat a dom’s ego. It simply is and we need to accept it. Being a dominant is about doing something with what we have in hand.
A dominant isn’t a wizard who changes lemons into gold. It is someone who takes lemons and makes lemonade.
I’m sorry, I know this doesn’t sound very erotic, but trust me, it is incredibly hot once you get the hang of it. 🙂
Recent Comments