FAQs

Kinky Collective’s FAQs section strives to address some common queries. You are welcome to submit more queries that you may want us to answer.

What is BDSM?

B-Bondage is the use of restraints for erotic pleasure

D-Discipline is the implementation of rules and punishment to exercise control over the other

D & S-Dominance and submission include the voluntary giving up of control by one individual to
another, and the giving of the right of dominance over themselves in an erotic episode or as
a lifestyle

S-Sadism here is deriving erotic pleasure from inflicting pain upon another consenting to
experience the pain

M-Masochism is deriving such pleasure from receiving pain

BDSM IS A CONTINUUM…

Whoever enjoys any kind of erotic power play and/or pain is kinky because Power pervades
all sex and sex involves tactile sensations of a wide range, sensual caress, love bites,
rough sex etc.
Moving along this continuum, BDSM involves power and pain in more intense and
concentrated ways.
Individuals at different points might be more drawn to domination/submission or to pain.
For some, erotic play with power and or pain is fun and spices up their sex life, for others,
BDSM is a lifestyle and sexual orientation, central to one’s desires and sense of self.

BDSM as a sexual orientation... what does it mean?

A feeling of guilt, fear and alienation.
Silence, social stigma, pressure to get married, lack of access to community support, fear
of blackmail, having to lead a double life, lack of access to Kink Aware Professionals – doctors,
lawyers, MHPs etc.

BDSM is about?

BDSM is pain as pleasure…..shackles that set us free…control that is sublime
journey into the unknown.

What BDSM is not?

Myth	Facts
BDSM is violent and abusive.	Consent is at the heart of BDSM. It is not presumed but actively negotiated and can be withdrawn at any time, instantly and unconditionally.
It is damaging and causes trauma.	Can be empowering and healing and Enable well-being and centredness…being in the present moment
It is illegal.	There is no law in India prohibiting practice of kink. It is not illegal as long as it is between consenting adults.
It’s all about pain.	It’s not. Pain might or might not be a part of the play. It all depends on how you like it.
It is not safe.	It is completely safe as long as you know what you are doing and practise basic norms of safety.
It is patriarchal and anti-women.	On the contrary; the female dominant is in control, female submissives have power to consent or not to, male submissives challenge machismo and the community has space for gender diversity.
The man always dominates, the woman submits.	Dominants and submissives can be of any gender. A transgender person can dominate another transgender person, a man can submit to a woman, a woman can be the dominant of another woman….
It’s all about sex.	BDSM might or might not involve penetrative sex at all, what matters more is erotic play with pain and power. There may be no physical contact – it can be virtual too.

The Kinky Collective seeks to create awareness about Bondage, Domination, Sado Masochism and Kink in society and to strengthen the community in India.

For more please see:
http://www.nlacolumbus.com/global/smmyths.html

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/thinking-kink-myths-BDSM-feminist-magazine-sex-bondage

http://www.bringbackdesire.com/6-myths-about-bdsm-inspired-by-50-shades-of-grey/

http://www.horn-manor.com/BDSM/Common-Myths-About-BDSM-Slaves-n-Slavery.htm